Amerikan Türk™

This blog is continued at my cycling blog- Bisikletci

2012-01-04T20:01:00.000-05:00

Please clickety-click your way over there and see what's up.

FirstBIKE is an unbreakable kid's bike!

2011-12-01T09:50:00.000-05:00

Bursa from a distance

2011-07-22T01:36:00.000-04:00

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Ararim seni her yerde!

2011-07-14T01:05:00.001-04:00

Weebike.com: FIVE REASONS WHY TRAINING WHEELS ARE BAD

2011-06-25T12:02:00.000-04:00

Weebike.com: FIVE REASONS WHY TRAINING WHEELS ARE BAD

How do my spokes bend like that?

2011-05-02T22:56:00.000-04:00

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Feel good radio trash

2011-04-07T22:16:00.002-04:00

What's on the radio worth listening to? Nothing much. I'm usually tuned in to NPR but I'll cruise the dial occasionally and maybe accidentally find something new. I can't help noticing that lately, the big girls of pop want to be your anti-depressant. To wit: Katy Perry's awful song about being "fireworks".. um.. it BLOWS. Have you seen the video of little teenage pukes with "fireworks in their belly"? One can't help but think about the movie Aliens during this terrible clip. Lady Gaga's piece of shit song about being "born this wa-hay".. Oh yeah thanks Lady Gaga for reminding me I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me, no matter what back water 3rd world crevice of the earth I used to populate. Lady, were you born a fucking complete and total sell-out? Last and not least pitiful is PINK with her "Prety pretty please!?.. blah blah you are perfect, you are never less than perfect!!" This one has the most insincerity ringing in it. I bet the music sheet has dollar signs thrown in for good measure. "Pretty pretty please?" Umm okay, as long as you put it that way.. begging me not to be a self hating piece of shit, I guess I can at least try not to be a pathetic loser. What else out there sucks? There are other bombs which the teenie bopper generation keeps feeding their parents cash into, making it impossible to escape. Cars don't need radios. All they need is an ipod port and a power/volume dial wired into some good speakers. Am I right?

Post number 1206

2011-03-28T19:35:00.002-04:00

Has anyone seen Metin or his Talk Turkey blog? Where is Phanja? Burcu? Superhero? Remember Turkish Torque? There were others.. I used to do a periodic Hitchhiker's Guide to all the Turkish blogs.. Those were fun times I think. Deborah? Drop some old names if you know where to find them.

Taking stock at 40

2011-03-21T02:33:00.003-04:00

Not much has changed since I completed my 40th year, um.. yesterday, but what invades my thoughts more than anything is the very small number of friends I've collected. Those who know me will tell you that I have more friends than I know what to do with. I guess it's all relative. Define "friend" for me and I'll bet that my definition holds people to a higher standard of behavior and participation than yours does. I really wish I weren't this jaded on the subject of friendship, because it gets in the way. It's got something to do with childhood problems.. and no I am not about to announce that I was molested as a kid- that never happened to me- but what did happen was that we had an alcoholic in the house. Being the oldest of three, it fell upon me to be the super-responsible 12 year old.. and from there it spiraled out of control. You can't be a kid in an environment where fists are flying, glass is shattering, 911 is being dialed or you're running out the door to escape on a regular basis. When I was 17 my mother was nearly choked to death- if I did not run to her aid in that moment she would have been gone. So it's told that [adult] children of alcoholics have a hard time with a lot of things. We're crippled, we're lame, and we can't understand why. I think we have a strong tendency to shut down and build protective barriers- sometimes very subtle, sometimes very conspicuous- but they're always there- reminding others to keep their distance in order to instinctively keep ourselves out of harm's way. It's a survival tool that kept us alive long ago, but which now burdens us with it's obsolescence and brutality. Time to put down this weapon and be vulnerable? It's not for lack of trying, but it seems like whenever we let our guard down someone takes a cheap shot, someone exploits weakness, someone betrays you.. and then we say "well fuck everyone!- I don't need a single one of them".. Then the next thing you know it's your birthday and you're left wondering how you managed to isolate yourself and why you count the people who you trust on only one hand. Oh yeah, I remember now.. raging violent alcoholic in the house conditioned us to be in perpetual warrior-survivor mode. You can't get an closer to me than the length of my fucking spear. Sorry about that- it's a work-in-progress.

T-minus 3 minutes

2011-03-18T23:55:00.002-04:00

and I'm officially 40 years old.

Murat Altinbasak: NOT ON FACEBOOK

2011-03-15T10:46:00.002-04:00

BEWARE: I do NOT have a Facebook account. The one which exists and shows a picture of me on a race bike is controlled by a hack and a thief who has threatened to harm me and my family physically- AVOID!
Facebook has been notified but as we can see, two months later and they have done nothing to protect me or any of the 300+ people linked to my old account. They don't care about you or me, please face this fact. You are a bunch of whiny ones and zeroes to them who pay $0 for their "service", so don't expect a lot of help from them if/when you ever need them. Printing their own money using this cash cow is priority 1 through 1000 for Facebook.

Have you ever?..

2011-03-14T14:27:00.001-04:00

.Awoken from a dream in which no one likes you, no one wants to talk to you or know you or be seen with you, and everyone turns their back on you and wishes you would go away or die? Hopefully not, but if it happens, go back to sleep and end your rest with a better dream. You don't want that negative shit haunting you all day. It's T-minus 4 days until 40 and it feels like someone is holding my head under-water. I don't think I'm allowed to come up for air until I blow out the fucking candles. It was just yesterday that I was in the 1st grade, gazing up at the gigantic 6th graders and wondering how awesome it was to be big.
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Do NOT wish me a happy birthday..

2011-03-10T21:44:00.001-05:00

..on Facebook. I no longer have an account there. My account was hacked by some piece of shit thug overseas.. and if you engage them, they will pretend to be me and they have the skill and technique to hack you too. There are Hacking forums loaded with the simple instructions of how to do it. Mostly a bunch of pimply teenagers I suppose- they talk about how cool and easy it is to steal someone's account "just to fuck with them". So please do yourself a favor and leave birthday wishes here, if you're so inclined.. My 40th is on March 19th, same as Bruce Willis and Spike Lee.. Then again, traffic to my blogs is kind of light lately so I'm not getting my hopes up. More than anything, I wish that people would take enough of an interest to pick up the fucking phone and call eachother. Fuck blogs and facebook and email and texting. No one talks on the phone anymore, and you can forget about getting together in person. Everyone is engorged with being popular and getting LIKEd on Facebook instead of "being" liked as a real person. Getting LIKEd is something people do TO you, sort of like getting punched or kissed. Being liked is what I would prefer to be, wouldn't you? It's pathetic how we've let technology erase our social skills and replace them with "social networking". Now that I'm out of FB it's painfully evident how many true friends are out there, and it isn't many.. it's few.. but a few good friends is all you need. Having a mutual friend with a total stranger has been sold to us as a good-enough reason to become friends with total strangers who, at the end of the day, don't give a squirt of piss about you. Stop buying that tripe and call your friends once a week instead of peeping tom on them every fucking minute of the day and masquerading it as friendship.
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No more Facebook

2011-03-07T18:08:00.001-05:00

The only profile of mine which exists on Facebook from now on, is the old account which some low-life thug in Turkey hacked from me. You are discouraged from engaging them or sending them money if they pose as me stranded in an airport somewhere. English speakers have no worries because said hacker doesn't speak English- only very profane Turkish..
Goodbye Facebook. You fucking suck.
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A word about dogs and cats

2011-02-18T17:46:00.001-05:00

I am an animal lover. Maybe not to the extent of a pet owner, but I can't resist the affection and cuddliness of a dog or cat which approaches me in a friendly way. Where I draw the line is all of the charities and rights groups which exist solely for the protection of these animals. Here's a revelation: there are people throughout the world in need of food and shelter, and until they are taken care of, no animal charity will receive dollar one from me. Saving animals from euthanasia is ridiculous. Look- there just too many domesticated pets for people to successfully take care of. Every dollar offered to an animal charity could go to a human charity instead, and SHOULD! Last I checked, euthanasia is not an option for humans in need. It's a humane option for animals, so DO IT!! Send your money to the charities which help keep humans sheltered, healthy and fed please..
Don't even get me started on pet food- the million fucking dollars spent on a TV ad for Fancy Feast could pay for the sustenance that a town of 10,000 people requires, for a long time.
More to come on this subject.
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Fatherhood.

2011-02-07T22:18:00.001-05:00

Fatherhood shapes lifetimes of behavior, habits and values. It never ends. Years after losing him, I'm in the unfortunate yet grateful position of realizing this, that he lives in me, and I carry immense guilt because my younger siblings were cheated- I had him all to myself..
Please pardon the sentimental rantings of this textbook Pisces..
Thanks for reading.
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Spilling some poison..

2010-11-10T00:06:00.003-05:00

All of my late father's violence, alcoholism, absenteeism, among various other deficiencies, are no match for my selfish wish to have him here again.. as I imagine him comforting and mentoring me through the completion of my 40th year.. at a time when youthful optimism is less than it ever was, career is in the toilet, and I hang precariously from a cloud steeped with debt.. confused about what matters most. This is about the same age when my life hero started to un-apologetically show weakness.. and to fall apart like a Chinese motorcycle.. self-medicating away the painful reality of missed opportunities, of promises made and then broken to himself.. of hopes and dreams slipping out of reach and out of sight.. We can only shine so brightly for so long, especially when the throttle is unrelentingly opened up to full power. Today I stand in his shoes and look down upon them in awe, imagining how much more completely I would have self-destructed after walking just a mile in them. I forgive everything, old man.. but not myself for being an ignorant douche-royale during most of the times when you were crying out for love, for relief, for praise, for just a little respect. I salute you.

There's less of me to go around..

2010-10-14T23:56:00.003-04:00

..and I mean it literally and figuratively and physically.. It's been nearly 2 months since my last contribution here, but I've become a bit overwhelmed with the amount of attention the internet requires from me. I'm now counting 8 or 9 blogs, plus 3 retail websites, a few social networking venues and of course horoscopes, news, weather, maps, five e-mail accounts, spam and youporn. Needless to say, your hero is spread pretty thin these days..
So a few hours after today's colonoscopy, my dear wife indicated with much amusement how helpless I looked in the recovery room.. that is.. high on drugs, tubes in my nose and arm, drooling on myself as I slowly regained consciousness.. and I couldn't resist asking her why she didn't right then and there take a picture and "Facebook it". Well apparently the idea did cross her mind but she refrained from exploiting my pain for your entertainment. Good girl.. It got me to thinking.. as we drove to the PTO meeting tonight- there must already be some good images of me injured or suffering that I can share.. and bingo! I remembered the self portrait I took of myself 4 years ago, in the ambulance after being hit by a car in Cranston while riding home from work. So after sending Ebru off to bed (she fell asleep while we watched our Netflix movie- "Guru") I resolved to find that picture and explain to you how, if that accident happened today I would have probably broken some bones.. At my annual physical this past Tuesday, I asked my doctor what my weigh-in was two years prior- 183.. one year ago- 173.. and two days ago.. drumroll..... 162 (fully clothed of course..) so at the time of this accident where I destroyed my helmet (I had blood coming out of my ear and I had stitches in my ear canal) I was about 25 pounds heavier, more cushioned with fat, perhaps even more muscular. I don't know how I would fare today in such a T-bone collision.. This morning I weighed in at 157, but of course this was in my birthday suit, and after an 18 hour period of liquid diet, Dulcolax and other bowel cleansing medications I was required to imbibe. I don't miss those extra 25 pounds. After disrobing for today's procedure and laying on the gurney, two nurses attended to my IV, blood pressure and oxygen.. when they took my pulse it was nice to hear them say "heartrate is 46- you are very fit!". Indeed, a big strong heart doesn't need to pump so often- it moves more blood with less work- an advantage which hopefully pays big dividends when I'm an old man. Ebru was with me in the recovery room today- and I don't remember a thing- but she says the alarm kept going off because my heart rate kept falling below 45. Sweet. If I never win another bike race ever again (I hear that stifled laughter- not cool), I still feel like I've won something priceless: more time on this planet with people who I love.. which assumes of course that a piano does not fall onto me or my plane does not crash or other unmentionable abbreviations of life do not occur to me..
I'm reaching an age where it's probably going to be hard resisting the urge to judge myself, judge my achievements, judge my health, judge my life's quality. So far I'm looking forward to the occasion, and hopefully many of the more difficult albeit correct choices I've made and hard work I've done for the past 10-20 years will continue to bear fruit. With so many blessings to count, age does not matter.
For those of you who wondered, my colonoscopy was a success- only one small polyp was found and removed.. and if/when I get my hands on a picture of it, hell yeah I'm going to Facebook it!
Thanks for reading.
Hoscakal.

Statement/Franz Wright, August 2010

2010-08-17T23:41:00.004-04:00

Life's random acts of cruelty bring out the best in some people. Franz Wright has the same disease which took our paternal hero from us a little over two years ago. His voiced words comforted me then as I mourned our loss, and I took possession of a few of them to use as my battle cry when life forces me to engage it in Warrior mode. I count myself honored and privileged to have received this today. Please open your heart to this opportunity to read and reflect upon such deep sincerity. -Murat

August 17, 2010/F.Wright

I feel so much dread that I might do things to make my friends feel ashamed of me. My wish is to go out the Franz people seemed to like and at times draw inspiration from. If that is to be my last gift to them, my last task or final atonement, it is a very small thing, not worth that much, but it is all I have. I have failed the people I loved most in my life so many times that it is a wonder all of them did not abandon me. Yet in the end, so many have remained. That is what astonishes me.

But I need everyone to know this: I would do it all again, precise to the second I’d live again the life I was honored with and loved so terribly and voraciously, in spite of brief and highly sporadic occasions when I had every intention of killing it. It will sound contradictory because, for one thing, it is contradictory, but I have always been thrilled, physiologically thrilled at these last words of the mountainous Martin Luther King, Jr.: I just want to do God’s will.

Looking back, it is clear that I was going to keep getting my face kicked in, and worse, continue doing harm to others, to the good-hearted sensitive and brilliant, that is, as they are the most fragile, vulnerable and easily manipulated. I was not so gradiose as to put it to myself quite this way, not consciously certainly, I knew better than that. Still it was getting more and more obvious that all that shit was continuing unabated, all that meaningless waste of time which, as Scott Cairns has said so much more beautifully, is all sin is. I knew it would go on and on, and at the same time I myself would go on living in either the terror of or the horrible little dark wish for the time when it would be stopped, and something finally stomped it into paralysis.

That very thing had already happened, in fact, about ten times or so since I was fifteen, not to mention the couple before I reached that august age. But in my mid-forties I one dead day found myself standing in a bathtub half filled with cold water and on the verge of dropping into it every electrical appliance I could find in the apartment, all securely plugged into a sturdy extension cord—I see that cramped and flourescent last room, and I see my sins before me. I prepared to see the x-ray of horror in the dark or its dark x-ray in a white glare, and considered for a moment the surprise of the woman I’d lived with for fifteen years when she got home. In spite of all the years and decades I had put into it, the strenuously exercized will to survive at any cost, and at the cost of anyone else in close vicinity, the will to be the last one left standing with absolute disreguard for the fate of others, no one would be left standing, and the room would be vacant of me for many hours, the world vacant of me forever.

The fact is I did commit suicide. I really and truly did let fall all those household appliances, gigantic radios, hair-dryers, etc., into the cold water right up over my ankles, standing there in my shitty underwear, unshaven, the aghast and hysterical ghost or vegetable-version of the person I’d been. It is also clearly the case that I was not killed, but regarding that I have never addressed You. What I found was You and where You apparently dwell, where there is positively nowhere left to turn.

I implored You to recall my childhood love of You, Old and New Testaments cover to cover more than once by the time I was twelve, the love for Your words, Your silent voice—and knocked again, and was silenced, and as You had long ago assured me, I was immediately and, it goes without saying, without regard for merit, offered entrance into Your infinite mercy and peace. And I have had to relearn how to do this, how to ask and knock so many times, so many, many times. I have, at this point in my life, at this point perhaps near the end of my life, no fear or any sense of being assailed, or hunted down, or unfairly singled out, or anything of the kind. I did learn not learn yesterday that no exception will be made for me when it comes to the fate of every human being, star, or leaf. My experience has shown me and thoroughly convinced me that every ordeal I remember and imagine, the worse the better, has led me unfailingly to a golden place, the very one I would have wanted but could not otherwise, by my own efforts, have reached, so busy was I wandering in darkness up and down the world. If I find myself facing the last great ordeal, I intend to get it right this time. To die trying. To go down raging in praise, full of faith that after I am torn to pieces, as so many times before, I will not only survive, I will be raised up, and I will see the beauty of Your house.

Cheesy larceny

2010-07-12T22:14:00.003-04:00

Rewind to 2:00 pm today: I'm at D'Angelo's with Reis. We're buying a late lunch. Kid's sandwich meal for him and a large steak & cheese for me to share with Ebru. You will be asked this question a thousand times, please do not be ignorant when you hear it:
"Do you want cheese on that?"
My answer is always yes, because I love cheese.
The problem is that you are not being asked because the food seller is interested in pleasing you. No. You are being asked because it is their job to "upsell"- they are only interested in charging you an additional 79 cents for a 4 cent enhancement (cheese).
So my affirmative answer to the question is always followed by, "is it extra?"
It always, always, always, is (extra). Not only that, you will not be informed of how much extra unless you ask directly.
This is the closest thing to reaching into your pocket and stealing from you, but somehow they have found a way to do it, by making you reach in and hand it over yourself.
Caveat emptor!
I have a suspicion that this tactic is retaliatory.. One smart shopper loophole we have all no doubt discovered at all fast food joints is that nobody cares how many times you go to the fountain and refill your super-size Coke.. which begs the question: why did you pay three times more for that drink than you had to?
Caveat Venditor!

Little Miss Sunshine: Devotchka: Till The End Of Time

2010-06-21T22:11:00.003-04:00

This is from the movie soundtrack of "Little Miss Sunshine" one of my top 10 favorite movies. This song is so skillfully written and the melody so engaging that I turn to putty every time I hear it. The lyrics which punch me in the stomach are underlined below. Enjoy! Put this movie in your Netflix qeue.

They're just words, they ain't worth nothing
Cloud your head and push your buttons
And watch how they just disappear
When we're far away from here

And everybody knows where this is heading
Forgive me for forgetting
Our hearts irrevocably combined
Star-crossed souls slow dancing
Retreating and advancing
Across the sky until the end of time

Oh who put all those cares inside your head
You can't live your life on your deathbed
And it's been such a lovely day
Let's not let it end this way

And everybody knows where this is heading
Forgive me for forgetting
Our hearts irrevocably combined
Star-crossed souls slow dancing
Retreating and advancing
Across the sky until the end of time

Like sisters and brothers we lean on each other
Like sweethearts carved on a headstone
Oh why even bother, it'll be here tomorrow
It's not worth it sleeping alone

And look at you and me still here together
There is no one knows you better
And we've come such a long long way
Let's put it off for one more day

And everybody knows where this is heading
Forgive me for forgetting
Our hearts irrevocably combined
Star-crossed souls slow dancing
Retreating and advancing
Across the sky until the end of time

World's most useless facts

2010-06-03T12:16:00.001-04:00

http://wcbstv.com/slideshows/bizarre.facts.20.1164266.html

"Baba?"

2010-05-20T13:36:00.000-04:00

Even a grown man uses this word. The last time it passed my lips, my voice cracked like a teenager's as I stood above him, agonizing over what to do. It was a sunny afternoon. It was my watch and I napped lightly in his room. The coughing roused me from sleep, barely.. Because there comes a time when the body is too weak to push another centimeter of air through the blockage.. And it sounds like muffled breathing instead. May you never press your ear to the chest of a loved one and hear silence. Unforgettable silence.
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The Friendship Matrix

2010-05-08T23:20:00.001-04:00

"Ignorance is bliss"

I don't want to take the wind out of your sails, but having 200, 500 or 10,000 FB friends who you never see in person, who never call you, who don't have you on their Christmas card list, who you can never ask for a favor, who can't be bothered to wish you happy birthday when it only takes a few mouse clicks, who don't (or don't want to) even say hello to you when you accidentally see them in person.. I'm not sure if it's so great.. Has true friendship become so scarce that a computer program has replaced it? Are we all plugged into the FB Matrix? Does it keep us engaged in the fantasy that scores of people matter to us and that we are equally important to all of them? Some of these FB connections to people are beginning to feel as hollow as a drum, aren't they?

Don't get me wrong- I care deeply about everyone in my friend list, but let's be realistic- if we haven't said boo to each other in 30 days.. Let's admit that our friendship was primarily requested out of curiosity, and that it was accepted out of courtesy and good manners. This does not constitute friendship.

FW: Lütfen ama lütfen iletiniz.

2010-05-03T23:27:00.001-04:00

ABDULKADİR SERDAROĞLU

MADEN MÜHENDİSİ

MERHALE SOKAK NO: 61/2 BEŞTEPE/ANKARA

TEL: 0 312 213 34 16 0 312 213 34 16 - FAX: 0 312 213 34 19

GSM1: 0 532 560 30 84 0 532 560 30 84 - GSM2: 0 543 602 96 48 0 543 602 96 48

ARKADAŞLAR MÜNKÜN OLDUĞUNCA HERKESE YOLLAMAYA ÇALIŞALIM LÜTFEN.

DÜŞÜNSENİZE AYNI DURUMDA BİZ OLSAK NE YAPARDIK.

Yukarıda resmi görünen 4 yaşındaki kızım Azra Zeynep 03.04.2009 Cuma gününden itibaren kayıptır..!!

Yerini bilenlerin, görenlerin insaniyet namına polis'e bildirmeleri veya aşağıdaki numaraları aramaları önemle rica olunur..!!

0 533 626 57 52 0 533 626 57 52

0 216 308 60 76 0 216 308 60 76

(Bu mail'i lütfen listenizdeki herkese ulaştırınız..!!)

Food Inc reveals American barbarism

2010-04-28T00:06:00.005-04:00

We watched the PBS documentary Food Inc. recently and we were astonished to see the brutally inhumane treatment of animals on the chicken farms and on the animal "factories". I can't help but be reminded of the many doofus redneck a-holes I've crossed swords with in debate relative to the supposed "barbaric" way in which Muslims painlessly slaughter sheep, cows and goats, that is, in a manner compliant with Halal (similar to Kosher).
What you have seen on Food Inc is the horrific AMERICAN WAY, and I know that most of you are repulsed at the way that chickens, pigs and cows are treated before entering the slaughterhouse.
Here is the distinction people: Halal meat is from animals which were treated humanely, fed proper nutritional food and not forced to live knee-deep in their own disease and feces and not forced to eat corn based trash. Slaughter of any kind is going to be painful, I don't care how you go about it, but it is certainly minimized when a person does it with their own two hands thusly:
"a swift, deep incision with a sharp knife on the neck, cutting the jugular veins and carotid arteries of both sides but leaving the spinal cord intact."
You have all no doubt seen Avatar and recall the scene when the hero was saved from the dog-creatures by his love interest. You will recall the deep respect which she had for the animals, including one which she had to finish off with her dagger. I hate to draw comparison to a fantasy movie, but there is no better way to describe the Islamic respect of taking an animal's life for food. Halal meat is from animals which were responsibly bred, respectably raised, generously fed and humanely slaughtered.
To me there is nothing so barbaric as the images seen on Food Inc. What good is a so-called "painless" slaughterhouse death when being alive was a nightmare of suffering, humiliation and deprivation? Puh-lease.

The pinnacle of loneliness..

2010-04-07T14:57:00.001-04:00

.occurs on my longest of training rides at the point which is farthest from home on some unfamiliar, empty and forgotten country road.. when suddenly it hits me like a sucker-punch in the stomach.. the inexplicably timed recollection that my childhood hero, protector, and mentor, is gone. Mine were the last hands to touch him while he still drew breath, and they were the first to touch him when he suddenly did not. This honors me immensely but it also intensifies the panicked realization that this stubborn and unteachable apprentice has lost his gifted and nurturing master. Miss you Dad.
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Turkish joke

2010-04-05T00:19:00.002-04:00

Recently deceased soul is being given a tour of Hell and observes that separate fiery pits are arranged for each nationality, and that each pit has a guard in charge of containing the souls who try to escape. Recently deceased observes that the hell-fire pit for Turks is not guarded. Those attempting to escape are pulled back down from below..

This is bad.. I know..

Irfan Altinbasak 1944 to 2008 (aka Charlie)

2010-02-22T21:48:00.004-05:00

My grandfather passed away when I was 6 years old, in 1977. My father was 33 at the time, and he was here in the States. Father had three brothers and three sisters. He was the spoiled middle child- an oxymoron here, I know, but Charlie's interest in sports meant that he was always given the cream of the crop at dinnertime, and often ate steak when everyone was having leftovers.. If you ask my aunts and uncles, Charlie was the favorite. Five of his siblings left Turkey to be in America or Germany, Charlie and his sister Nuran were the only ones left. It is imagined to be a heart-breaking moment for my grandfather to discover that his last remaining son would also leave the nest and spread his wings toward America. Back in the late sixties, you would be driven out on the tarmac to board your plane, and your relatives could be observed watching you ascend the stairs to the cabin. As Charlie described it, his father was leaning on a fence watching him board, and between the time he entered the cabin and the time he took his window seat, grandfather had stopped looking in his direction and buried his face on his fore-arm, weeping as he leaned on the fence..

This is perhaps the only interaction I have seen between my father and his father. A young 25 year old Charlie is proudly showing off his newest possession, and bragging about it on the back of this photo. I was born about 2 years later.

Hamit Altinbasak- Paternal Grandfather

2010-02-22T21:44:00.001-05:00

Hamit Altinbasak
Originally uploaded by Amerikan Turk

My grandfather the famous hat-maker of Bursa. Do you have an old gentleman's hat that has the Altinbasak label? Please let me know if you do because I may like to buy it from you.

Bike for sale: Redline 9-2-5

2010-02-03T11:00:00.002-05:00

I paid $450 for this bike and put maybe 500 miles on it.

I don’t know the size, but I’m 5’-9” and it fits me nicely.

Yours for $300.

Moustache bars are not included- I sold them on Ebay.

Yeah- someone paid money for them, go figure.

10,000

2010-01-22T15:33:00.001-05:00

My uninteresting Blogger profile page was viewed 9,999 times before I checked in on it just now.. Very lucky timing on my part, dontcha think?

What does blogging indicate?

2010-01-18T13:51:00.001-05:00

As I was reading the blog of someone I know, I thought to myself: “this is insanely boring.. I don’t care about any of this..” Then my thoughts drifted to this person’s life. This everyday mundane bullshit that is being narrated- it’s as boring in real life as it is on the computer screen. What a waste of time- mine and theirs. Then I’m thinking that this person must have a real tight lipped relationship with their spouse, or have no friends, or suffer from loneliness. They want to be in the thoughts of others- what better way to engage people into your life than to tell them about it, day in and day out? I think there’s a line somewhere which some cross and some do not. I think I’ve been zig-zagging across it for the past 5 years. Hopefully it has been interesting, relevant, and worth the time to read. I can barely restrain myself from deleting this pile of rubbish, but I’ll give it a chance. I can always delete it later.

First crash of 2010

2010-01-17T18:43:00.001-05:00

CIMG0242
Originally uploaded by Amerikan Turk

I got tangled up with some train tracks today.. There was blood. The first irrigation/cleansing of road rash in the shower is a toe curling experience.

Sleep is over-rated

2010-01-15T02:07:00.001-05:00

I have calculated what my online e-tailing business needs to do in volume in order for me to quit my day job, and it seems that I am 1/3 of the way there, in a down economy. It's motivation such as this which makes losing sleep seem like a no-brainer small sacrifice. Quite frankly, I feel the same in the morning whether I've slept 3 hours or slept 7 hours. What keeps me awake involuntarily is doing nothing to advance toward the above named goal. Self-employed, financial freedom, and the time to enjoy it.
Thanks for reading.
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2009 Racing Accomplishments

2010-01-02T21:33:00.003-05:00

I have 12 minutes left in my 20 minute warm up before I start drillin' it. I'm riding my road bike indoors, attached to a resistance trainer device. To help motivate me for the 30 minutes of self induced suffering which will follow the warm-up, why not frame an outline of 2009's accomplishments? Wow only 9 minutes left- this takes long to do on a Blackberry!
1. Ninigret training criteriums: Four top ten finishes in 2009, including a couple of field sprint wins. Also one 4th place overall finish in a field sprint. This is harder than it sounds.
2. I only raced Wells Ave a couple of times and on the first try I snagged a 5th place finish
::6 minutes left and my HR is still a lowly 119 bpm..
3. Three of our M1 Racing team in the top 7 of the Cyclonauts Crit 35+: J Alain Ferry wins it solo, Matt Kressy takes 4th and Yours Truly takes 7th. In the Pro race which followed, I won a $10 prime which was awesome. Someone tried to follow me for it and could not hold my wheel.
4. Masters Nationals in Turkey: I took 9th in the 10k TT going cannibal against aero kits galore, only 22 seconds off the podium.. 8th in the road race the following day.. Six man break took off right after my little break was caught- base of the hill. This is a long story.. I was dropped like a brick on the first big climb. I thought about giving up.. The guys who were dropped on the flats were catching up to me. This was a T-shaped out and back 70 km course. I still had about 50k to go, and more climbing after the turn-around. Dead legs started to revive on the downhill. I started picking people off and they were all jumping on my wheel. After about 10 minutes of completely burying myself, I caught the main field of about 25 guys, a few guys followed me there the whole way. Caught the field right at the turn-around, with dead legs, at the base of a gradually steepening 4 mile climb. I fought. I bled from my ears in pain. I chewed through my handlebars.. And about 300 meters from the top, I could no longer follow the attacks of these former pros.. Dropped again, this time for good it seemed. Field was blown apart into smithereens. Again, I want to quit so bad, I hate myself, I feel humiliated. But the race is far from over- still 40k to go.. I shake it off after the summit, the main field of about 15 guys is back together up the road, or so I thought. Another 35 mph ten mile time trial later, I caught the field, only to discover that six of the favorites detached themselves.. No one would work except my teammate Murat Akyazi and 1-2 others. Everyone else was content to race for 7th. Murat and I tried repeatedly to escape with two others- an ideal amount of HP to bridge.. No such luck- we kept getting sabotaged by blockers. At the end of the day, largely due to my efforts at the front with Murat, we held the gap to only 2:57. In the field sprint, I followed an attack at 500m to go. Sat there until 300 to go and uncorked it. Unfortunately, a was being used as a lead out by two other former national champs, who both got around me (after an hour of avoiding pulls, it was pretty cheap) one of these two were DQ'ed for taking water from a vehicle, the other one stood- making me 8th overall. What's there to be proud of here? Never giving up, no matter how strong the urge. Fighting tooth and nail from being dead last on the course, to working my way up to 8th. Next year will be different, for both the RR and the TT. Mark my words.
5. The M1 Racing team strikes again at the Concord 35+ Criterium on August 2nd. I was not feeling on form for this one, and had finished mid-field in 2008. Midway through this hammer-fest (faster speed than the previous Pro race, according to the announcer) I found myself following a serious attack and rotating with Ciaran and Billy Y.. And about 5 others. This was not the recipe for success which M1 Racing needed. Not only would I be burning matches needlessly for this group, the big guns of Matt and Alain needed to be up here. My best approach to turn this to our favor was to be an anchor. It came back together. With 10 to go, Alain came alongside and told me not to lose his wheel. I was so gassed I immediately lost him. With 5 to go he came back to get me again, and this time I followed. He went up the road as soon as we saw the front- and we blocked as best we could for a few laps. With 2 to go he was caught and even with blown legs Alain mixed right into the top 10 and stuck it out to the finish 4th place in the field sprint. Matt Kressy took the final corner in 1st place and took his 4th win of the year. For my part, I turned myself inside out to keep close to Alain and finished 9th- an impressive perfomance for me, in my book.
6. Keith Berger Criterium 30+: In 2008 I did my best result here- 6th place. I was off the front from the very start and never saw the field again. In 2009 it was a little different. Wife and I were moving the contents of our house into a condo, and I had the nerve to drop everything and go to East Hartford- tired and out of form, and I snagged 14th out of a large stacked field- which was 8th in the field sprint (5 were off the front) another win in my book, all things considered.
7. Cyclocross- I started five envents and completed four. Of these, I was lapped at only two races and I managed to complete the leader's lap at the other two. This was a first for me! I'm about as graceful as a 3-legged penguin on the barriers and on the run-ups. I expect to pull myself up into the top 50 percentile one of these days. A cross bike that doesn't suck might be helpful!
Thanks for reading.
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Nothing like a chance encounter with bike stuff while estimating woodwork

2009-12-30T11:18:00.001-05:00

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Country Conditions for Mailing — Australia

2009-12-03T09:11:00.001-05:00

Can someone explain to me why I can't mail anything to Australia which bears the word "ANZAC" on it? Sales of wool apparel is going well- I have buyers in Australia, which.. ironically, is where the raw materials for the apparel comes from [to Turkey].

Prohibitions (130)

Coins; bank notes; currency notes (paper money); securities of any kind payable to bearer; traveler's checks; platinum, gold, and silver (manufactured or not); precious stones; jewelry; and other valuable articles are prohibited.

Fruit cartons (used or new).

Goods bearing the name "Anzac."

Goods produced wholly or partly in prisons or by convict labor.

Perishable infectious biological substances.

Radioactive materials.

Registered philatelic articles with fictitious addresses.

Seditious literature.

Silencers for firearms.

Used bedding.

I forgot how, seriously.

2009-11-26T17:34:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow morning my six year old son and I will attend our first religious service together. It's a holiday for the Muslim world, apparently. We're in Rochester and honestly, I have not set foot in a mosque or touched my forehead to a prayer rug in maybe 12 years.. We're going to the Turkish Society of Rochester for the service, where pretty much everyone knows who I am and knew my father. There will be lots of looks and double takes from old friends of the family.. Some of whom remember a time long ago when my father took me to prayers as a child. Reis is going to be told to follow my lead tomorrow.. Little does he know that I will be copying everyone else around me. It's going to be interesting, for sure.
Happy Bayram and Thanksgiving.
Thanks for reading.
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Phoenix Arizona: nice place to read about

2009-11-19T21:38:00.002-05:00

The single most impressive thing about Phoenix Arizona is the Rental Car Terminal. Intelligent design has a special place in my heart. The thing that brought me down was the emptiness. Phoenix is a lonely city- all dressed up and waiting for a party to happen, it seems, and everyone is a no-show. The glimmering mini skyscrapers seem to be populated only by the palm trees which surround them. It's a scene out of Grand Theft Auto if I ever saw one. The boring flat landscape is made interesting with shiny hollow trophies of an era which probably ended a little after Y2K and the bottom falling out of tech stocks. I'm well aware of the mountains, canyons and natural beauty that is beyond the perfectly linear matrix of streets, and I begin to wonder if maybe that's where everyone went. Severe time limits prevented me from finding a bike to rent and from exploring the roads for hours like I wanted to. Shit, I only put 30 miles on my rental car for that matter. Phoenix has an abundance of billboards. Some one is getting very rich selling space to all the corporations who pine for your attention. I detest them, almost as much as the car dealer ads on the radio.. You know, the ones that sound like you're listening to the preview of an epic movie, followed by a fast talker who reads all the fine print of that zero down zero interest deal that ends tomorrow.. Car dealers are slime, just like billboard owners. One is engaged in noise pollution, the other in sight pollution. Way to make an ugly place uglier Phoenix! I did not turn on my car radio, for reasons I just described.. But you can't close your eyes while driving. I lied there's something else I liked about Phoenix- the Metro running up and down Central Ave is a slick set-up. There's even a car where bicyclists can hang their bikes from the ceiling- a nice touch but one which I can't understand. The climate is near perfect and the roads are perfectly smooth and flat. Why bother jumping on a tram when you're already on your bike in the first place?

The Convention Center is a LEED Silver certified building which is respectable.. LEED and Green construction practices were frequent topics discussed at the trade show I attended in Phoenix. A speaker in one of the workshops I attended said something pretty dramatic:
"In 20 years, 1/3 of the jobs available today will be gone, and 1/2 of them will be replaced by Green-collar jobs". My profession engages me in the construction and renovation of high performance green schools. This is stuff I care about. Furnishing $5 million hi-rise condos on Beacon Street with expensive and exotic woodwork does not turn my crank. Furnishing a public educational facility with responsibly forested, locally harvested and low VOC emitting woodwork, does interest me, immensely.
I will board my flight here in Detroit shortly. My new Blackberry 8900 is junk- I'm trading up to a BOLD. Time to play some Word Mole. Thanks for reading.
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My bike commute just increased 300%

2009-11-11T21:44:00.003-05:00

New job, different bike commute. For the past five years I was lucky to have an 8 mile bike ride to work. (I used to take the long way home of course..) Now my bike commute is 26 miles each way and I fear that it may be a bit too much, especially in the mornings. This is going to be hard to do more than once a week. I need to leave the house at 6:00 am in order to get there at a reasonable hour, and the logistics of clean clothing, grooming failures and odor control really make it harder than you might think. I rode this route home tonight for the first time and noticed that it was always a very gradual downhill with a tailwind, going north to south. Tomorrow morning it will be colder, it will be uphill and it will be into the wind. What better way to start the day than with a challenging 90 minutes of straining yourself while a backpack humps your torso and every driver acts like they wish you were dead? It will be a relief to reach the bike path tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Gewilli's commute is what, 3 miles? with an over-population of phreds whose primary training goal each year is to avoid being passed by anyone on the bike path? the East Bay bike path is narrow, bumpy, covered in bird shit, and always smells like low tide..The Blackstone Bike Path is stunning. I've seen all five paths in Rhode Island and Blackstone is by far the most scenic, interesting, and beautiful of them all. Thanks for reading.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/ri/cumberland-to-east-greenwich/994125799375336360"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;New bike commute home from work 11-11-09&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/find-ride/united-states/ri/cumberland-to-east-greenwich"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Bike Rides in Cumberland To East Greenwich, Rhode Island&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Conformance

2009-11-08T09:34:00.003-05:00

If you told me 10 years ago that I would one day break down and buy a "Christmas" tree I would have made a face indicating that I smell cabbage.. "That's blasphemous" might have been my reply. Now looking back upon 38 years of deprival of one of the most cherished and fundamental American traditions ever known, all I can really take credit for is saving some time and some money. "We don't celebrate Christmas" is not a compelling enough reason for a six year old boy to accept. Christmas is a holiday of glittery sparkly pine scented money spending gift giving wholesomeness and nothing more. Am I religious enough to believe that I will get onto G-d's shit-list for participating in such a pagan ritual? Well maybe so.. caulk it up there with my occasional drinking, pork consumption, gambling, complete and total failure to ever pray five times a day, or fast, or set foot in a mosque for the past 15 years, or give 1/40th of my income to charity.. and the act of buying a Christmas tree begins to seem like the most religious and good thing which the Angel on my right shoulder has ever recorded in my little book of Good Deeds.

Determination

2009-10-31T23:28:00.005-04:00

I'm pleased because even though I crashed heavily two times at today's Canton Cup Cyclocross Race, your hero never quit, he avoided being lapped and even caught four people and sprinted past a fifth right at the finish line. My son Reis pulled a similar result in his kid's race for 6 and 7 year olds. He went right off into the weeds on the first slick muddy turn and was dead last.. until he got back on the bike, chased down and passed two kids and finished fourth. Mommy for her part, put up with all the pissing, moaning, whining and bullshit that Reis and I could dish out, all day long, before patiently painting Reis' face like Spider Man so we could all go trick-or-treating. It takes a strong woman to handle a couple of selfish crybabies like Reis and I.. but the knife cuts two ways and we'll leave it at that!
Finishing my first cyclo-cross race on the same lap as the leaders feels pretty good. So does catching and passing people and looking back to see the gap on them open steadily. A taste of that could light my fire to try even harder to do well.. Usually I just use cyclocross as a means to keep fitness sharp until January when the road training officially begins.
Another home run from today that I'm absolutely beaming about: I found my Powertap bike computer. It was lost in mid September and I've looked everywhere for it, even in the place where it was found: the pocket of my brown camouflage shorts. I've repeatedly fondled these shorts and others over the past weeks, hoping to feel the little device from outside. Well today I said fuck-it and shoved my hand into the pocket for once and [curse your slim profile, Powertap] there it was. I came running down the stairs almost naked to report the search and rescue to Ebru. She thought I found a million dollars, I think she was disappointed.
So it goes- I finally finished a race at Canton, on the 3rd try. My doors were blown off [even worse] on the 1st try and again a couple of years ago when I dragged my poor father to the race with me. He froze his balls off watching me pathetically try to ride a bike for 2 laps.. I don't think he was too impressed with me that day.. Maybe today makes up for it. Maybe finding the Powertap was payback for determination. Maybe this should be the last sentence of this story.
Thanks for reading.

Bliss

2009-10-26T14:18:00.002-04:00

I have two weeks of free time before I begin my new job. Today after depositing Reis on the school bus I went out and did an endurance/tempo bike ride of about 37 miles in 2 hours. On my way up Route 102 North I noticed one of those ubiquitous NBW arrows in the road, beckoning me to turn onto Purgatory Road. It's nothing like it sounds- this is a tree lined country road with no traffic and brand new ultra fine (fast) blacktop. At some point I forgot what day it was and what time it was and that it's the first time in five years when I am not carrying a Blackberry. I looked up at the sky and it was shade of blue that I don't remember seeing for a long time.
10/26/2009 Route
Find more Bike Rides in East Greenwich, Rhode Island

IRONY

2009-10-24T22:44:00.007-04:00

For the past many months and months, Facebook has pretty much hijacked my attention span, taking it away from this blog and leaving readers twisting in the wind.. unless they themselves migrated over to the land of imitation friendships. Let's face it, accepting a friend request is the equivalent of canine crotch sniffing. We proceed to ogle all of the friends, photos and other bullshit which our new "friends" have just exposed. It's a peep show of flashers and consenting victims.

Today something different happened. Something less typical than what I describe. A couple of things happened actually. First I stumbled upon the Facebook link to my www.americanturk.blogspot.com blog, where I was astonished to discover that I have followers. I can't think of another word which makes my insides tingle more warmly. Okay there were only six of them in there, but I am not acquainted with three- total strangers. This gives me a hard-on, figuratively speaking, and it explains the first irony which my title suggests: that Facebook played a part in getting me interested in blogging again.

The next surprise came in the form of a friend request acceptance and a message posted to my Facebook Wall by my new friend. I sent a friend request to Franz Wright earlier in the afternoon. By the time I got home from a friend's child's birthday party, he had replied with an acceptance and the following message.

Franz Wright Hi, and thanks for befriending me. I remember coming across your blog a long time ago and being greatly encouraged by some good words of yours. FW

4 hours ago · Comment · Unlike · See Wall-to-Wall
I usually have a pretty low opinion of my work, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. Franz Wright won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 2004. That he stumbled upon my blog and found words fit to encourage him is the biggest compliment I have ever received. Irony No 2 happens to be that for twice in one day, Facebook sent me back to the drawing board (that is, my blog), and wondering why I have let is slip so.
The third thing I want to share with you is partly coincidence and part irony. I resigned from my job last week, and yesterday was my last day after five years of service. While my pre-resignation memo and my resignation memo which followed by one month were both ignored completely by upper management, my memo to all fellow co-workers sent yesterday was much more warmly received. I received dozens of replies from well-wishers and numerous compliments relative to my writing. Even a recent e-mail from my new employer also indicated that my choice of words was impressive. Yesterday a [former] co-worker expressed to me that I could probably make a living using this skill if I put my mind to it. Having said all of this, isn't it ironic that the weakness bird-dogged the most by my former employer was "poor communication"?
Here is my Resignation memo, followed by my Goodbye memo. I think Franz would like these.Resignation Memo:

Gentlemen:

I recognize that the problems at [company] are intense enough to eclipse all other matters but it's impossible to perform at a high level when my concerns are ignored. I can't continue to pretend that it doesn’t hurt me that my previous message entered a vacuum. This lack of communication has made things difficult.

No one stays employed anywhere for 5 years for being a low performer, yet the past few weeks and months make it seem as though I am being encouraged to leave. This does not feel good and I hope that I will be proven wrong somehow. From where I stand, it’s a dishonor to stay in this position and it invites others to disrespect me if I go along with the derision as if it’s acceptable. I need to stop trying to catch a falling knife.
If there are any positive ideas or future changes which I am unaware of, now would be the time to share them with me. Otherwise this will serve as my notice to leave [company] and we should discuss an exit plan.

Best,

Goodbye Memo:

Dear Fellow Co-Workers:

"It's what we do." Remind yourself of this the next time an assignment is getting the best of you.

It has been an honor to count myself among you for the past five years. Working with the caliber of people who populate [company] is a privilege- take pride in being immersed in such a deep pool of talent. As the melancholy of leaving you eclipses the excitement of a new career, it's abundantly clear to me that five years have not been wasted. I leave you carrying a giant payload of personal growth, valuable experience, and great memories.

I humbly encourage everyone to test their limits- it's not possible to become better/faster/stronger if we do not. We all want to be strong. Fortunately, the limits we decide to test are in our control. Let's choose them wisely so that our adaptations are compatible with our goals. You’re the captain.

It is my hope to be considered as one who cares deeply about [company], as one who salutes those who try to be excellent, and that your actions say the same about you.

Best,

Thanks for reading.

Big changes coming up

2009-10-14T00:19:00.002-04:00

I'm excited and nervous- my hand's on the buzzer and I already know the exact answer, before the question is even asked. When success is guaranteed, why is there hesitation? Maybe because nothing that is worth having is ever easy to get, except when it occasionally is.. and so we second guess whether it's really worth having.. and why aren't others also getting some? Because they can't no matter how hard they try, dumb-ass!

Slideshow of my bike race team: Millwork One Racing

2009-07-19T00:13:00.003-04:00

Recent posts are by a renegade blogger who has hijacked Amerikan Turk, not by me, Murat. This slideshow is from me though. I have no time to blog and Amerikan Turk is on it's last legs. Forgive me for letting it slip into such a death spiral. Well.. at least you now get to see where much of my free time is used. Enjoy:

Olgunlasmak.

2009-07-15T13:45:00.000-04:00

Artık eskisi gibi her haftasonu birileri ile dısarı çıkmak
istemiyorum.Beni yoran iliskiler, yeni tanısmalar, yeni yüzler aramıyorum. Eski
dostlukların da özetini çıkarmaya basladım. Iliskilerde tasarrufa
gidiyorsun her seyde oldugu gibi ve gereksiz insanlari hayatindan atmak
istiyorsun.

Yapmacik, inanmadan konusmak istemiyorum artık. Beni anlamayanlarla
Konuşmak cümle kirliliði yaratıyor ve hak edenlere saklıyorum enerjimi.
Istedigime istedigimi deme özgürlügüne sahibim, elestirme hakkını
Olusturan yasamislık ve yeterli yas faktörü artik bende de var.

"Ben demistim" ,"ben bilirim","ben zaten anlamıstım", sendromunda
Olanlarla arkadasliklari bir kez daha sorguluyorsun. iliskilerini
sadelestirmeye baslayinca sıra iyi ve kötü gün dostlarını ayıklamaya
geliyor. Kötü gün dostlarını belirliyor ve onlara daha çok önem
veriyorsun. Iyi gün dostu bulmak ne kadar kolaysa kötü gün
dostu bulmak bir o kadar zor, biliyorum. Dostlar ihtiyaç oldugunda
göçmen kuslar gibi sicaga uçuyor ve sadece seninle birlikte sürüden
ayri düsenler kalıyor.

Zamanın ne kadar kıymetli oldugunu ögreniyorsun buralara kadar
gelirken. Uzun düz otobanlardan oldugu gibi, kestirme bozuk yollardan
da ulasabilirsin hedeflerine. Kestirmeleri de ögrendim gide gele. Bos
geçen her saniye degerli artık. Daha yapılacak çok sey var ama, kendimi çok
yormaktan çok hırpalamaktan yana degilim. Gerektiginde "HAYIR" demeyi
ögrendim ve bu kelime basta karsındakine kırıcı gelse de senin için
hayat kurtarıcı olabiliyor. Sevgiye önem vermek gerektigini, zamanı
geldiginde elinde sadece sevginin kalacagını biliyorum. Sevgi paylasildıkça
olusuyor, olgunlasıyor.

Aileme ve seçtigim tüm dostlarıma daha önce göstermedigim sevgi,anlayis
ve ilgiyi gösteriyorum. Biliyorsun ki gidenlerin ardında sadece
iyilikler kalıyor, ne kadar sevgi dolu oldugu hatırlanıp anılıyor. Bana
çok genç olduklarını hatırlatırcasına nedense tecrübelerimi,
fikirlerimi sormaya basladılar. Verecegim cevaplar belki çok anlamsız geliyor ama
yine de dinliyorlar ama ben biliyorum ki yasamadan hiçbir sey ögrenilmiyor.
Yasamıslıgın olusturdugu bir alçakgönüllülükle gülüyorum içimden
sadece.

Artık daha şık giyiniyorum, senelerle birikmis dolaplar dolusu kıyafet
Var ve bunları kendimle paylasmalıyım. Önce kendine güzel
görünmelisin, kendi zevkime göre giyinmek istiyorum, böyle
hissediyorum.

Modaya uymak adına popomun sıgmadıgı düsük bel pantolonlara sıgmıyorum
Diye kendimi üzme tercihini de kullanabilirim. Ayıp, günah ya da ne derler
korkuları çoktan geride kaldı . Dostlarıma, kendimize yemek yapmak
hosuma gidiyor. Mutfak eskiden bir zulüm iken simdi zevk aldıgım mekanlar
arasına giriyor. Farklı lezzetler denemek güzel ve kendi lezzetimi
kendimde yaratabilecegim belli bir damak zevkim ve mutfak kültürüm olustu.

Sonra Sezen'in sarkısındaki gibi anneni daha sık düsünüyorsun ve
hatta anlıyorsun. Iste bu yeni alısmaya baslanan ve giderek hosa giden
yeni duruma olgunluk deniyor. Yasamıslıgın, görmüslügün, geride kalmıs
üflenmis dogum günü mumlarının bir sonucu kendiliginden ortaya çıkıyor
hayatın bir dönemecinde bu olgunluk. Ne zaman dersen herkese göre, ne
kadar dolu yasadıgına göre degisiyor bu olgunluk çagına ermek. Inanın
bana hayattaki düsüsler, zor alınan virajlar bu zamanı hızlandırıyor. Kendi
dünyanın küçüklügünü kesfetmek ve buna ragmen kendinin kıymetini bilmek
çok ise yarıyor. Bir gün hepimizin bu huzurlu olgunlugu bulmasını
diliyorum.

CAN DÜNDAR

2009-07-08T13:35:00.000-04:00

Bir metod var. Hep uyguluyorum desem yalan. ınsanın içindeki topakları, insanlığının çorbasında eritmesini içeriyor ki, bunu herkes hep yapamaz.

Keşke yapsa. Hep rahat ederdi. O hep aradığı huzuru, gözünün içinde buluverirdi. O ağır gelen kafası, yerçekimsiz ortamda, kalbine değer de değerdi. Herşeyle ve herkesle bir anlığına dans eder ve o anı ömür boyu saklardı. Hani bazen oluyor ya hepimize. Bir an ışığı görüp, selamlayıp, unutuyoruz.

Ha, önce birşey hatırlatmak isterim: Dışardan sert görünen çoğu şeyin içi, bir karpuz kadar kolaydır. Tadından yenmiycek kadar güzeldir. Susuz kaldığınız çoğu şeye devadır. Ve hatta dışının renginden başkadır. Meyvelere daha dikkatli bakmalıyız. Onlar da en az bizim kadar canlı. Ben, metodu böyle sert birşeye uyguladım. Kendisini ikiye bölmesini ve içini göstermesini istedim. Genellikle yuvarlanarak kaçan bu şey, bu sefer, kimbilir belki de dilimin tatlılığına dayanamayıp, kırmızısını ve şerbetini döküverdi. Kamışı batırdım. Pek gıdıklandı, pek hoşuna gitti.

Samimiyet ve sevginin açamayacağı kapı olmadığını hep dinleriz. Bazılarımız bunu duymak için doğuya gider. ıçine bakar. Bazılarının içine bakması için uzağa gitmesi gerekir, öyle herkesin ortasında olmaz. Birşeyi duymak, hep işe yaramaz. Bir tek birşeyi yapmak işe yarar.

Ben de yaptım. Bana sırtını dönmüş gibi yapan herşeye yapıyorum şimdi. Çünkü anladım. ınsan ne derse, ne yaparsa ne verirse kendisiyle alakalı. Yani hayattaki herkesin bir an kendiniz olduğunu düşünün. Yüzlerini silin ve kendinizinkini koyun. Sonra düşünün, bu bensem nasıl davranmalı?

Cevap hep aynı: Samimiyetle ve sevgiyle. Birşeye çarparsanız, çarpıp duruyorsanız, ne zaman rastlasanız size çarpıyorsa, her seferinde topu kalbinizle karşılayın. Bırakın gururlar ayağa kalsın. ‘Oturun' dersiniz ‘henüz gitmiyoruz'.

Bu metodla bir kapıdan girdim ki sormayın. Çok heyecanlıyım. Fakat hangi hareketleri sıralarsam, karşıma çıkan canavarı yeneceğimi biliyorum. ınsanın içinde de, aynı anda basınca herşeyi alt eden tuşlardan var. Zamanla, basa basa, yana yana, basa döne döne öğreniyoruz. Hayat oyun değil demeyin.

Oyun. Eğer oynarsanız.

RIP

2009-06-12T08:26:00.001-04:00

Today I am asked to move into the cubicle of a person who took their own life over the weekend.

He will be missed.

Sad week so far..

2009-06-10T09:58:00.001-04:00

This wonderful April-like weather isn’t enough of a downer- a co-worker here at MW1 commited suicide over the weekend. And just now I discover that the Turkish cycling legend Rifat Caliskan (2^nd from the right- my father Irfan is on far left) has passed away from a heart attack. He was a friend of the family who raced with my father in the late 60’s, who coached me in the summer of 1989, and who was Turkey’s answer to Eddy Merckx at one time. RIP.

Forgot to include:

2009-06-04T13:38:00.001-04:00

Dacia, Alfa Romeo and Citroen.
These are some interesting cars.
I'm blown away by the new hatch version of the Honda Civic. That thing's a work of art.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

CARS

2009-06-04T03:45:00.000-04:00

It always amuses me how this country went from having three or four auto brands back when I was a kid, to now having more than we have in the US. Back in the 70s, the only cars on the road were LADA, Skoda, Renault and TOFAS (Turkish FIAT). These days we see such oddities as SEAT, Peugeot, and OPEL- all of which make very handsome cutting edge vehicles. Then of course the ubiquitous Kia, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Mazda, Hyundai, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, VW, and Volvo are everywhere. I have not seen any Saabs. Honda Accords look like Integras and Civics look like American Accords. Weird. Imports such as Land Rovers and Lincoln Navigators cost DOUBLE, yet you see more in one day than we see in a month driving in New England. On the interstate highway between Istanbul and Ankara, we were passed by some pretty sick drivers doing nearly 200 kph in their Beamers and Benzes. Speaking of BMW- I saw one yesterday which looked like it was on steroids- a kind of bad-ass looking cross-over. I would like to have one-but even with my generous income, it's impractical and out of reach (I'm a cheap bastahd) How do they afford it? Well apparently there are two classes here- have and have not. Both are immense. Middle class is a minority. Time for breakfast. Its rainy out today so we're keeping the rental car one more day.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Part 2 is a Go

2009-05-27T09:09:00.001-04:00

Your hero is going to be a licensed participant of Turkish Masters Road Nationals this weekend
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Priceless

2009-05-25T04:32:00.001-04:00

My 90 day Visa stamp is 20$.. The porter at the airport gets 20 TL for helping me with my bags and getting me a big taxi.. (I found my Thule bike case in the middle of the floor in baggage claim) The cab ride to the bus station is 40 TL.. Porters descend on my cab and carry my bags and bike to my bus. There's 2 of them and I give them a 10 TL bill to share. The younger one wants me to give his buddy another 10.. I show him only 50s in my pocket and he's reaching for it saying he can break it. I'm astonished by the lack of manners. If this guy is making 10$ every 5-10 minutes just to roll a tourist's luggage about 100 feet, he's doing a LOT better than you or me.. Fuck that- the bus ride cost 20 and I'll lbe damned if using a porter doubles the cost.. This country is crazy. I'm now considering a career change.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Borat Jr.

2009-05-02T00:15:00.005-04:00

This is what you get when I watch "The Bucket List":

2009-05-01T23:26:00.001-04:00

Buzun uzerinden düşmiyelim derken..
Buz kırıldı yuttu hepimizi..
Fırlıyoruz ölümün ağızına doğru..
Fren patladı yavaşlatmiyor hiç birimizi..

-Murat Altinbasak

..don't know if you've noticed but..

2009-04-25T21:22:00.002-04:00

April 25th, 2009

12 kids in Pakistan killed by bomb

Posted: 07:18 PM ET

From Samson Desta
CNN

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (CNN) — Twelve children in Pakistan were killed on Saturday when a device they found exploded, local police said

Children in volatile North West Frontier Province found an object and took it into a house where it exploded, police said.

Other children had gathered to see the material. Eight boys and four girls died. All were under age 13.

Four people were wounded, a female, two boys and a girl.

Thousands of Armenians mourn WWI mass killings

2009-04-24T10:44:00.000-04:00

Full AP Article HERE

Money quote:

“Friday's procession began with a burning of Turkish flags, and many carried placards blaming Turkey for spilling the "blood of millions" and calling on Ankara to acknowledge the killings as genocide.”

Brown

2009-04-17T13:36:00.000-04:00

Holy smokes everyone on Thayer Street is in stripper mode.
It's a sea of pasty white skin..

My co-blogger will love this one

2009-04-02T18:23:00.003-04:00

I'm in a portable toilet up in Boston yesterday, on the service road behind Beacon Street. It's interesting to read all of the obcenities and look at all of the crude pornographic pictures that various tradesmen scrawled onto the walls. One particular scribble stood out among the others. It read:
"I'm sweating like a -igger writing a check."
This is funny to me. Not because I am a racist pig. I am not. It's funny to me that it's the year 2009 and there are still people who are engaged in such petty ugliness- especially during a time when our President is black. On the other hand, maybe I do deserve some complicity, because when I read this 'humorous' statement, I couldn't help but think back to the old stand up routines of Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor, who were of course permitted to make fun of themselves and use the ~n~ word. If they were saying it up on stage, you would laugh, and that would be PC. Am I mistaken?

Wise man say:

2009-03-28T23:38:00.000-04:00

One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

Women hating women

2009-03-27T21:29:00.005-04:00

I really don't understand why many women hate other women? They're jealous and gossipy. They say negative things about themselves in order to justify their incessant mocking of others. It's negativity I don't need to hear.

I really think this should be the new feminist concern. We women are horrible to each other! Don't they then win? Have we come this far just to lower our standards of basic interaction? I think we women should be doing more to encourage mutual success or mentally stimulating each other. Wouldn't that be nice?

But how? Maybe we should start calling each other out. Someone has to, we need an attitude adjustment!

The Way We Were

2009-03-16T10:53:00.004-04:00

Strange how the good memories seem more painful than the bad ones. Is it because good times allow the vulnerability to love and bad times require strength? Still doesn't explain why they hurt more.

This picture is from the last time my dad made me breakfast. Last year I went to Turkey to see him before he died because we knew he was getting close. This was one of only 2 days out of 2 weeks that he felt well enough to get out of bed, but wow, what a great day it was. Barbara Streisand's "The Way We Were" comes to mind. If you look closely you'll see our reflection in the teapot.

The Way We Were
Mem'ries, light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were

Scattered pictures, of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we, could we

Mem'ries, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were
The way we were

Toddler gets a body piercing

2009-03-13T17:33:00.004-04:00

Here's a tough as nails kid, no pun intended. Little Mehur Kumar's belly is populated by a piece of rebar that appears to be the diameter of a railroad spike- scaling with rust too. Hope he had his tetanus shot! If it were me, I would be passed out stone cold in terror.

Here's the story at CNN.

Dearest in Christ.

2009-03-05T14:00:00.001-05:00

Must-contain-maniacal-laughter.. I populate one of my other blogs (www.scamlisting.blogspot.com) with about 4-5 of these Nigerian advance fee fraud e-mails, every day. (Yes it is purely for the Google Adsense dollars, but at least I am truthful- and believe it or not, people have thanked me for it) This is the first time I am seeing a person so twisted that they exploit and lie about terminal illness and religion in one neat little package. The scammers are getting more bold and more creative as the economy goes down in a death spiral. This one is original, I'll give it that.

I encourage you to write to these cretins and have fun with a little bit of scam baiting.

From: From Charles and Elizabeth. charlestoure_001@yahoo.com
Subject: Dearest in Christ.
To: sarawak_cardiology@yahoo.com
Date: Thursday, March 5, 2009, 8:21 AM

From :Mrs Grace Tapia
Email :grace.tapia@ymail.com

Address:N11-Olof Salem Street
P.O. Box 59022,Safat 13060 Kuwait.

Dearest in Christ.

With Due Respect And Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a
humanitarian ground.

My name is Mrs Grace Tapia,from Kuwait. I am married to late Dr
Ramsey Tapia ,who worked with an oil company in Ivory Coast for
Thirty-two years before he died in the year 2005.

He died after a brief illness that lasted only four days Before his
death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not
to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible
is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of
(US$5.8 M)(Five Million,Eight hundred Thousand United States Dollar)
in a General Trust Account with a prime bank in Abidjan .
Presently,this money is still with the bank.

And Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six
months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever). Presently this
money is still in the Bank. Having known my condition I am in need
of a HONEST Hearted Individual Christian or Church that i will utilize
this fund the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of my
late.husband to help Lessprivilaged people, orphanages,widows and
propagating the word of God.

I took this decision because I dont have any child that will inherit
this fund, And I dont want in a way where this money will be used in
an un Godly way. This is why I am taking this decision to hand you
over this Fund. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am
going.I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because
of my up coming Cancer Surgery.

Write back to me as soon as possible because any delay in your reply
will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose,
Hoping to read from you soon.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I
shall give you the contact of the Bank in Abidjan. I will also issue
you an authorisation letter that will prove you the present
beneficiary of this fund.

May God bless and keep us as we seek to serve him.

Yours in Christ
Mrs Grace Tapia

Alone Together

2009-03-01T02:22:00.004-05:00

Reis.. by himself on the edge of the Pacific.
Who will watch over him when I am gone?
The same who is watching over me.
No one.

Airport security

2009-02-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

They threw our son's 8 oz container of sealed vanilla milk in the trash (along with our three small bottles of Coke, which we figured would happen) A one liter bottle of water is $5.05

A new low..

2009-02-25T02:22:00.002-05:00

I have been neglecting this blog for some time now. Not quite sure what took the wind out of my sails, but thinking back to the time wen you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a Turkish blog, the "blogosphere" used to be a little bit more engaging. Many Turkish bloggers have dissipated like a fart in a hurricane, and I occasionally feel as though I will be the next blog to add to my own "Missing Persons" Blogroll. Meanwhile, your hero has been tickling the soft underbelly of his other blog pretty regularly for the past couple of years.. There's something special about traffic that isn't 99% Google search driven. Google traffic is like non-dairy creamer, and I seem to get the real thing over at Bisikletci Murat. I know that you have a choice of which blogs to recommend.. Thank you for directing people here, Google..

MGMT: Kids

2009-02-12T00:07:00.000-05:00

censoring myself limits my writing

2009-02-04T11:36:00.003-05:00

Murat asked me to cowrite on this blog and I have... somewhat. I know I could write more but it's difficult when I know I'll shock him and maybe even embarrass him with my raw and honest opinions that plague this Amerikan Turkish girls thoughts. I have a lot of experience to share as an Amerikan Turk but it's not all too "hanım" or ladylike. I've already experienced censorship once from my family when my photo hobby site on Flickr was discovered. I had to endure my mother calling me to ask if I was ashamed of myself or had any self respect and that was only after hearing about it, she hadn't even seen it yet. I had to tear down 1/3 of my favorite pictures because they were too "erotic" or as I would call them, "artistic and tasteful self expression". My point is that there is so much I could write about, but what if one of my mom's friends read it! What if Murat is mortified by my opinions of modesty versus freedom of sexual expression. How I think that many girls in Turkey play the supposed innocent virgin till marriage while us Amerikan Turks are cast to be whores because we're not full of shit. Already I've said too much.

The Pretender

2009-01-29T00:17:00.000-05:00

Help Bush Move

2009-01-16T17:41:00.002-05:00

Moishe's Moving Systems sent me this link and it's hilarious. Help Bush Move;

http://www.moishes.com/helpbushPack.html?utm_source=Moishes+Moving+Systems&utm_campaign=daf053c191-Moishe_s_Moves_Bush1_16_2009&utm_medium=email

Have fun!

Bleeding Economy

2009-01-15T20:07:00.003-05:00

My client is blowing me off. Why you ask? Well, he owes me $2,000. Last meeting I had with him he was driving his sister's Denali and I was in the back seat overhearing their conversation. His sister said how she heard SoAndSo got $17,000 off the Escalade they bought from WhatsHisName because they're desperate to sell in today's economy and if you pay cash you get a big discount. I then heard my client say how he's been wanting one and maybe this week he'll do the same. Hmm, cash, must be nice. Why can't he pay me my balance then? He should be embarrassed and ashamed of himself. So, I'll keep calling and he'll keep sending my calls straight to voicemail. The poor thing must be too busy driving around ruining the environment with his disgusting new gas guzzling Escalade.

One of my favorite movie quotes;

2009-01-12T13:02:00.004-05:00

"To Love is to Suffer, To avoid Suffering, One must Not Love,
But then one Suffers from Not Loving.
Therefore: To Love is to Suffer, Not to Love is to Suffer, to Suffer is to Suffer....
To be Happy is to Love, To be Happy is to Suffer, But Suffering makes one Unhappy.
Therefore: To be Happy, One must Love,
Or Love to Suffer, Or Suffer from too much Happiness.
I hope you're getting this down."

- said by Diane Keaton in Woody Allen film "Love and Death"

I can really relate to this quote as a single girl who is looking for love, or maybe I am already in love but not sure because for once I'm not suffering and wonders if I've ever been in love with all the ones where I did suffer because maybe the chase was more important.

Perhaps this time I am the one being chased and that discovery is proving to be a nice change. But then I wonder if he suffers for my love and if by sharing my thoughts will his chasing end? This possibility then makes me suffer at the thought of losing his love so maybe I am suffering, or happy or...or...

or maybe I've been caught! :)
hmm...

In My Humble Opinion

2009-01-07T13:12:00.002-05:00

Random question with no real importance;

Is a person still humble if they just claim themselves to be? If one was humble, wouldn't they not boast about it? At first when I hear, "In my humble opinion" I feel the power is given back to me to decide on my own. The humbleness suddenly opens me up to the opinion because it isn't forced, it's gentle. But then I feel tricked! Why would they tell me they're humble? Is that humble?

Turk olmak nasil bir duygudur?

2009-01-06T23:19:00.001-05:00

CANIM ARKADASLARIM, Amerika'dan bir vatandaşımızın 'Türk olmak nasıl bir duygudur ?' konulu yazısı Aslında çok şeydir, Türk olmak.
Türk olmak, Osmanlı'nın borcunu ödemektir. Hovarda babanın borçla yaşayan evladı gibi. Kosova'da ve Bosna'da, Batı Trakya'da ve Makedonya'da bilmem kaç asırgeçmişte kalan meselelerin hesabını vermektir.
Türk olmak, Kıbrıs'ta, Hocalı'da, Anadolu'da ve Balkanlar'da soykırıma uğrayıpkarþılıðında yapmadıðın soykırımla suçlanmaktır.
Türk olmak, faşist olmaktır, vatanına, milletine, tarihine sahip çıktığınca.
Türk olmak, demokrat ve çağdaþ olmaktır, vatanına, milletine, tarihine sövdüğünde.
Türk olmak, lisanının Avrupa'da yasaklanmasıdı r ve yine Türk olmak kendini vederdini anlatamamaktır.
Avrupa'da hor görülmek Türk olmaktır, ataların bir çok asır önceViyana'yı kuþattığı için ve hoþ görülmemektir tabii ki sadece kuşatıp;Napolyon gibi bütün Viyana'yı yakmadığın için.
Türk olmak, Selanik'te Pontus Anýtı'nın, Viyana'da çiğnenen yeniçeri minberinin veMalta'da papazın üzerine bastığı Türk bayrağı heykelinin önündengeçmektir.
Türk olmak zordur, çetindir ve eziyetlidir. Üç kıtadan dönüp, bir küçük yarımadada misafir muamelesi görmektir.
Sayısız imparatorluk kurmak Türk olmaktır, aynı zamanda sayısızimparatorluk yıkmak da Türk olmaktır.
Arabaya koşulan ilk atın vatanında, ilk yazılı antlaşmanın imzalandığıyurtta, yazının bulunduğu, paranın icat edildiği hermetrekaresinden bereket fışkıran bu yurtta, kalkınmak için yabancısermaye beklemektir.
Türk olmak, Troya'dan bu yana, Sümer'den bu yana serpilerek gelse de, tarihteneski bu topraklarda, bütün zamandan damıtılarak gelen yüksekdeğerlerine rağmen, bir haftalık hafıza ile yaşamaktır.
Doğu Roma'yı da Batı Roma'yı da yıkıp, yeni Roma olan AB'ye girmeyeçalışmaktır Türk olmak.
Türk olmak, Mostar'da köprüdür, Kerkük'te kaledir, Istanbul'da Kızkulesi'dir,Anadolu'da buğdaydır, Çukurova'da pamuktur, Ege'de tütün, Karadeniz'defındık, Trakya'da ayçiçeğidir.
Türk olmak, Çanakkale'de ölmektir. Çanakkale'de ölmeden önce düşmana su vermektir, onun yaralısını sırtında kendi hastanesine taþımaktır. Düşmanınardından rahmet okumak, kanlından helallik almaktır. Sabahları odana rahmet dolsun diye, camı açmaktır. Kar yağdığındakayak yapmayı değil, evsizleri düşünmektir. Balkon köşesine kuşlar için, kışın ekmek kırıntısı, yazın su koymaktır. Yağmura rahmet, kara bereket diye bakmaktır.
Türk olmak, harap bir ülkede, zengin ülkelerin müstemlekesini reddedip, tahtadankılıç ve ipten üzengi ile, paylaşacak ve sahiplenecek tek varlığıfakirlik olmasına rağmen, yedi düvele meydan okumaktır.
Türk olmak, askere davul-zurna ile uğurlanmaktır, belki de dönmeyeceğini bilerek.Türk olmak, annenin şehit oğlunun ardından 'bir oğlum daha olsun, onuda vatan için göndereceğim' demesidir. Babanın gözyaşlarını tutarak, tabutuna son kez dokunurken 'vatan sağolsun' demesidir.
Türk olmak, 'Türk çayında radyasyon olmaz' yalanları ile, 'gusül abdesti alanaaids bulaşmaz' dolanları ile yaşamaktır. Her hükümetin enkaz devraldıðı, ama asla ardında enkaz bırakmadığıülkede olmaktır.
Türk olmak, ecdadın yaþadığı kığlıktan dolayı, çayın yanında gelen şekerden fazlaolanı garsona geri vermektir. Aynı nedenle Türk olmak, yemeği ziyanetmekten korkmaktır.
Göz hakkına, diş kirasına saygıdır Türk olmak, Evindeki bir kap aşın yarısını tanrı misafirine vermektir. Kendi yerde, misafiri döşekte yatırmaktır Türk olmak.
Türk olmak, milli maçta ağlamaktır. Ayhan Işık'a, Belgin Doruk'a aşık olmaktır.
Türk olmak,aşkını ölesiye sevmektir. Aşkı için ölmektir, öldürmektir. Sevdiceşinin elini bir tez tutamadan, toprağa girmektir. En güzel aşk şiirlerini yüreğinde hissetmektir. Eşkıyaya türkü yakmaktır, Türk olmak, Milletine sövmektir, ama başkasına sövdürmemektir.
Türk olmak, Yunus'u bilmektir, Aşık Veysel'i sevmektir. Mevlana'yı,Hacı Bektaş-ı Veli'yi ve Hoca Yesevî -tek bir satırını okumasa da-yüreğinde taşımaktır.
Türk olmak, saz çaldığında, ney üflendiğinde, kös dövüldüğünde ve kavalçaldığında, yüreğinin derinlerinde bir sızı sezmektir, bir de Yemen Türküsü'nde...Hayatın sana verdiklerine 'nasip', vermediklerine 'kısmet' demektir. Her işin 'hayırlısına' inanmaktır ve 'feleğe' küfretmektir veağlamamak için çok gülmekten çekinmektir.
Türk olmak, Asya'da batılı, Avrupa'da doğulu diye tepki görmektir. Irk sözünü bilmeden yaşamak, yaradılanı Yaradandan ötürü sevmektir. Magazin programları ile dizilerin arasına sıkışsa da, silkinipüzerindeki ölü toprağınıatabilmektir.
Türk olmak, mahalle maçı için aynı saatte, on kişi buluşamazken, milyon kişininbir araya gelmesidir. Tavla oynarken bile kavga ederken, milyonkişinin kavga etmeden gösteri yapabilmesidir.
Türk olmak, Buhran zamanında Arjantin'de de mağazalar yağmalanırken, daha ağırbuhranda sorumlusuna en ağırcezayı tek bir cam kırmadan sandıkta kesmektir.
Türk olmak, En zayıf gününde bile dünyaya meydan okumak, en dertli gününde bile herufunetin bir şafakta biteceğini bilerek tevekkül göstermektir.
Zor iştir Türk olmak.
Türk olmak, Anadolu'da her düşen yağmur damlasına hamdetmek, her çıkanbaşak için şükretmektir.
Türk olmak, medeniyetler mezarlığı Anadolu'da dik durmaktır.
ILGINIZE VE BILGINIZE SUNUYORUM.
FEHMI OZTURAN

Lucky US Dollar For Sale

2009-01-05T22:48:00.003-05:00

I'm thinking of listing this thing on Ebay to make a buck, no pun intended. We'll start the bidding at one million dollars. Seriously, I'm going to do it, and if the winner mentions this blog, they get free shipping.

Wonder Wom-aaaaaannnnn

2009-01-05T21:00:00.001-05:00

Mom
Originally uploaded by Amerikan Turk

My mother's about to start twirling around and turning into Wonder Woman, I just know it. Don't you see her invisible jet floating on the water behind?

2009 Resolutions:

2009-01-03T20:59:00.000-05:00

Pilates, Yoga, Nautilus, Repeat.

Under your wing

2009-01-02T15:57:00.001-05:00

Empire State Building
Originally uploaded by Amerikan Turk

My maternal grandmother is visiting us from Turkey. It's a short time after we moved from our apartment in Kew Gardens to a nice water view home in College Point. My sister Elif appears to be less than one year old, so it can only be Spring 1977, I guess. Presumably, my dear mother is taking this picture with an old 110 camera- the kind that makes a funny whining sound in between shots. I was flipping through a pile of old photos and stumbled across this one. We're on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. I don't know- this picture makes me want to cry for some reason.
In this picture, I see myself in a place which I searched all of my life to find again, and never did. Look at little old Murat under there- under the wing of his hero, feeling so content that he's oblivious to the camera. Man.. this is emotional. I miss my Dad.

Become Your Dream

2008-12-29T14:16:00.004-05:00

A Delicious 1000+ calorie Chipotle Burrito..

2008-12-28T19:23:00.000-05:00

..Now populates my stomach. It's okay.. Murat did a 4-1/2 hour training ride today. That's 80 miles, bi-otch.

Elif is the winner

2008-12-27T12:23:00.000-05:00

MLYLT=Me Love You Long Time.
And my new vanity plate is just plain "MURAT".

One of my favorite photos

2008-12-25T23:55:00.001-05:00

01000001
Originally uploaded by Amerikan Turk

My dear father-in-law irfan Kizanlik and his mother

There's a little Napoleon Dynamite in all of us

2008-12-23T23:28:00.003-05:00

I've never watched it contiguously from beginning to end, but it's friggin genius no matter where you stumble upon it. You can't look away. You empathise. You relate. You pity. You feel them- Deb, Pedro and Napoleon. You see a few kids who were dealt a ten high and who are going all-in anyway, because folding is for losers.

APOLOGY INSPIRED BY SELECTIVE MORALITY HURTS MORE THAN IT HEALS

2008-12-23T07:09:00.000-05:00

December 22, 2008

Contact Information:
Nurten Ural, President, ATAA
Hakan Dakin, Art/Media Director, ATAA

APOLOGY INSPIRED BY SELECTIVE MORALITY HURTS MORE THAN IT HEALS

ATAA deeply regrets the one-sided apology that is being circulated in the internet and media by some scholars in Turkey. The statement of apology, while correctly avoiding the use of the term "genocide" and, thus, draining the issue of much of its potency, is nevertheless, divisive more than unifying, showing sensitivity to one group of victims of World War One (Armenians) but not to others (Turks, Kurds, Circassians, Azeris, Jews, and others.) Such unfortunate display of selective morality inevitably dooms the apology to a act of political gesture, an anti-establishment statement tainted with self-promotion.

It is also argued that the statement of apology clearly indicates plurality in public opinion in Turkey, thus powerfully refuting the often repeated claims of intolerance to dissent in Turkey. It is added that this apology draws attention to the obvious lack of such plurality in public opinion in neighboring Armenia where the state's orthodoxy is enforced upon all. We note these arguments with interest, but nevertheless, do not find them sufficiently compelling to justify such a divisive, polarizing apology driven by selective morality.

The statement, though sensitive to Armenian losses, glosses over Muslim losses suffered due to the many bloody Armenian revolts, raids and massacres by Armenian revolutionaries, treason by Armenians joining invading enemy armies, and ubiquitiously calamitous wartime conditions ( such as hunger, epidemics, poor supplies or infrastructure, brigands, feuds, and other elements.) Turkish History Institute research reports close to 524,000 Ottoman-Muslims, mostly Turks, as having met their tragic ends at the hands of Armenian revolutionaries during WWI. Not to include these humans into an apology is to insult their silent memory.

Also ignored, sadly, were the Turkish victims of Armenian terrorism since 1973. More than 70 innocent Turkish diplomats, family members, and/or bystanders were ruthlessly murdered by Armenian terrorists like ASALA, JCAG, and others. At a time when the U.S. fighting a costly global war on terrorism, this irony is hardly lost on us or other peace-lovers.

Just as inexplicable is the blatant hypocrisy in the omission in the apology statement of the Azeri victims of the Hodjali pogrom committed by Armenian thugs in February 1992 and the more than a million of Azeri refugees who were forced by Armenian military (supported by Russian tanks and advisors) at gunpoint to flee their homes. Those Azeri women and children are still braving the brutal Caucasus winters and scorching summers in their flimsy tents for the 14th year in a row. Adding insult to injury has to be the fact that U.S. Aid to these unfortunate souls was blocked by intense political pressure from the Armenian lobby America. It is profoundly saddening and baffling to us why a few words of comfort could not be included in the "apology statement" for these Azeri refugees-in- their-own- country.

ATAA solemnly remembers all who lost their lives in the war years between 1912 and 1922, namely Turks, Kurds, Circassians, Jews, and others, in Eastern Anatolia, due to Armenian rebellions, terrorism, and treason; the Turkish diplomats who were assassinated since 1973 by Armenian terrorists; the Azeri victims of Armenia's aggression between 1992-1994; and the Azeri refugees created by the ethnic cleansing campaign waged by Armenia since 1992. Since they were all forgotten in the "apology" offered by a few ill-informed scholars and their supporters, we would like to include them in our apology to all the victims of Armenian aggression here. We share their pain and apologize to them for Armenians' inhumanity visited upon them.

There is no reason for the Republic of Turkey to apologize to any persons or countries for something that Turks have not done. After all, one doesn't apologize for defending one's home.

Nurten Ural,

President, ATAA

Finally did it

2008-12-21T03:16:00.002-05:00

To the dismay of dear wife, your hero ordered his first ever vanity license plate for his car.
Can you guess what it says? Max 6 letters/numbers. Here were some of my considerations:
"BADASS"
"MLYLT"
"PLATE"
"ZZZZZZ"
"GRIFTY"
"USUCK"
"ALLAH1"
"STEWIE"
"FENER"
"BAHCE"
"TURKEY"
"BALLS"
"ICANDY"
"TURK4U"
"ASSMAN"
"WTF"
FAvorites? Suggestions? Needless to say, Murat picked the most obvious choice.

I hate Boston

2008-12-18T08:12:00.000-05:00

Seriously.

Oral surgery

2008-12-17T21:14:00.000-05:00

In the pain cave with sutures in my gums after a root evac
This sucks

Babamizi ozliyoruz

2008-12-11T23:35:00.000-05:00

ikisinin adi irfan. ikisi de cok sevilen insan. Hayatta kalan babamiz kendi degerini bilip bizler icin mucadele etmesini bekliyoruz. iki babanin yerini almak kolaymi? Ayaga kalkip gogusunu yumruklayip "ben varim arkanizda" diyen babayi bekliyoruz.
Neredesin Baba?

Flatulence and Mouth Breathing

2008-12-05T00:48:00.003-05:00

Read about how obesity is rewarded in Canada while others are charged 90 Euros to bring back an extra suitcase of what remains of their dead father's belongings. -uck you Lufthansa.

Every Breath You Take

2008-12-04T17:37:00.002-05:00

The Police. No matter how many times I've heard that song, it still stops me in my tracks. I stop what I'm doing, typing, cleaning, what ever it is. I listen and sing along. Takes me back to my living room in College Point with the red carpet, later changed to mauve. I see gray venetian blinds. It's cloudy. I feel like the house stood still. Maybe I wasn't the only one listening but I don't remember.

Moods 1 and 2

2008-12-04T17:22:00.006-05:00

Mood 1

Mood 2

Which is your mood? I'm mood 2 today.

These things take time..

2008-11-30T18:22:00.003-05:00

Since October of 2006, there has been an atrocious hole in the ceiling of the foyer of our butler staircase. Your hero finally patched it up last weekend:
A 2nd floor view of the original "Mattress Hole" can be viewed here. As you can see, I salvaged (re-used, recycled, pre-cycled, whatever) materials left over from a project at work. These two wonderful laminate colors are found on the 2nd and 3rd floors of Salem High School in Salem MA.

Plaxico is the kind of name which says..

2008-11-29T22:11:00.002-05:00

"my parents hate me". That is all.

Is it just me..

2008-11-28T12:55:00.005-05:00

..or is true that the primary occupation which Nigerians and Somalis are engaged in is something I like to call "taking other people's shit".

Whether it's pirating commercial tankers for ransom or phishing for suckers with their Advance Fee Frauds, they seem to be the mavens of such matters.

Feel free to peruse the 189 scam e-mail your hero has received in the span of two months, over at http://www.scamlisting.blogspot.com/. You will marvel at the ALL CAPS messages with horrendous grammar and the number of African diplomats (and their entire families) who are killed in plane crashes.

The latest craze? Random online lotteries which you never even knew you entered!

To be continued.

Post No 1111

2008-11-26T22:55:00.003-05:00

A Turkish soldier stands at attention during a ceremony at the mausoleum of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, founder of modern Turkey, in Ankara November 25, 2008. REUTERS/Umit Bektas

A Man After My Own Heart: Firat Arslan

2008-11-24T23:58:00.003-05:00

He's Turkish, but not in Turkey. He's 38 but still doing it- giving it everything he can, guns blazing. I love that- when people who are past their prime give the young guns a run for their money- and win- like the mother of three who won the Olympic marathon in Beijing. More about Firat
Firat Arslan of Germany receives treatment from his team during a pause in their WBA cruiserweight world championship boxing fight against Guillermo Jones of Panama in the northern German city of Hamburg late September 27, 2008. Jones won the fight by technical knock-out in the 10th round. REUTERS/Christian Charisius

Guess who?

2008-11-24T21:35:00.003-05:00

It's the co-writer here at Amerikan Turk, shirking again. Presumably very close to hitting the bottom. So "less-than-zero-esque", dontcha think?